You've never smoked, so how could you know Exactly how a smoker's life goes Well If you tell me all about it, every single detail Then I'll know what it's like, how could I fail
So far you've mentioned the sheer sense of joy Each time you light up one of those boys But if there's more to add, no need for hesitating Don't keep me wondering, wondering and waiting
You keep telling me that I haven't got a clue Then you tell me it's so enjoyable, what am I to do Enter your world of complete confusion Or realise that smoking is a dastardly illusion