There was a young lady from Gloucester Who took up smoking But it cost her An arm and a leg and a pain in the head That foolish young lady from Gloucester
There was a young man from wherever Who took up smoking to be clever He thought he could quit When he grew tired of it But looks like he'll be smoking forever
There was a young girl from Warilla Who wanted to do something which thrilled ?er So she lit up a smoke, but started to choke So she persisted But then it killed ?er
There was a young lady from London Who didn't want to end up in a dungeon So she never lit up a fag Never took even one drag And now her lungs very well they do function
There was a young man from New York Who ate cigarettes up with a fork You may say how absurd He may as well eat up turds But he thought they tasted as nice as roast pork
There was a young man from Crow's Nest Who listened to others as to what was best They told him to smoke So he did, poor bloke Now he must continue without any rest
There was an old man from Land's End Who frequently coughed up phlegm They asked him as to why And this was his reply I smoke, have you got me one I could lend
There once was a lady from Hertfordshire Who didn't think it was at all queer To inhale noxious fumes Could not see the doom Now she's dead and buried, I fear
There once was a man from Shellharbour Who decided to to visit his barber His barber told him with disdain You smell like a leaky old drain Your not smoking is something I'd rather
There was an old man from Alabama Who spent 55 years in the slammer His prison was of a kind That he created in his mind The prison of addiction, it's really a whammer
There was a young lady from Dublin Who had a question her mind it was troublin' Are there some perks Or any kind of lurks In smoking, the answer: There's nuffin'
There was a young man with great lungs Whose health good fortune had brung But he made a mistake Started smoking, at eight Now to the oxygen tube he has clung
There was a company called Benson & Hedges Who desired a high profit in all of their ledgers So they sold in packets of gold A poison which killed, they were so cold Those people of Benson & Hedges Alessandra Liverani, 2004